Laugh or Death (Lexi Graves Mysteries Book 6) Read online

  "That too."

  "Maybe rolled up in a rug."

  "I didn't see any rugs in her apartment."

  Lily gave me a very pointed look. "Exactly."

  "Want to check out the back with me?"

  "Then who's going to check out the front?"

  "Your husband," I said, pointing to Jord who was walking towards us, his partner beside him. It took me a moment to recognize him because I usually saw him either in casual clothes or a uniform. Since being promoted to the burglary squad, however, he began wearing slacks, a shirt and tie, and nice shoes. Both men both carried a sandwich roll in a paper bag. "When did he get all grown up?"

  "I don't know," said Lily, hitting the electric window button and rolling it down all the way. "But I think he must’ve been hiding it all this time."

  Jord stooped at the window. "You look really suspicious," he said.

  Lily turned and smirked at me. "Told you that you should have worn a disguise."

  "Not Lexi, honey, you." Jord kissed her through the window and flipped the peak of her cap. "Still looking for your missing woman?"

  "Yep, she lived right across there," I said, jabbing a finger toward Pretty Paws. "We're going to check out the back. Can you watch the front? Just for a few minutes?"

  Jord frowned and glanced up at his partner. "I have a job!"

  "Really?" I asked. "It looks like you're on lunch."

  "Fine, we're on lunch. You have ten minutes. Go. Go!"

  Lily and I didn't wait another second. We scrambled out of the car and jogged across the street. A few stores down from Pretty Paws was an alleyway leading to the back of the building. We jogged along it, turning left to the stretch of building that the pet parlor belonged to. I counted the rears of the stores, stopping below what I felt sure was Nancy's apartment. A fire escape snaked its way up, and the bottom portion was pulled down like someone recently exited on it without taking the time to push it back up again.

  I stepped backwards until I hit a wall, looking around for cameras. There were two, both pointing in opposite directions. One was attached to Pretty Paws. "Which way would you go?" I asked Lily.

  She shrugged. "I'd get in my car," she said, pointing to a row of cars.

  "Nancy doesn't drive."

  "Then I guess I'd head for a bus stop, or hail a cab."

  "That's what I thought." I stepped forwards again, this time, looking to my left and right. "That way is a dead end. She could leave this alley via the way we came in, or she could go that way," I said, pointing away from the way we entered.

  "That way leads to a street with several buses; plus, you were parked on the other side. If she didn't want to be seen, she'd go this way."

  "Yeah, but I don't know exactly when she left. She could have waited for me to go and then exited via the front. We need those security tapes. If we can figure out which way she exited and the direction she was headed, we might be able to figure out where she went."

  "I'd love to watch those tapes with you, but I have to be at the bar in an hour to open up."

  "No problem. I even believe that you truly want to watch them."

  "I do, really, I do," said Lily, her face deadpan serious.

  "Let's split up. If you can get the bus routes, I'll get the security tapes and we can meet back at the car."

  "Okay, but if someone kills me in this alley, you have to explain to Jord. Also, do you want to see if we can find her body first?"

  "No!"

  "Just..."

  "Nancy isn't dead, I'm sure of it," I said.

  "Glad you're sure about something in this case," said Lily, waving as she jogged away. A moment later, she was out of the alley, and all I could do was sigh. She wasn't wrong, of course. I wasn't sure about much in this perplexing case, but I had a few leads to work with now. At least, it was interesting enough to keep me occupied. I wondered how Solomon was getting on with Leo Chandler, and if he discovered anything interesting yet, or was deciding where to take me on vacation. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of calling and asking. In fact, I resolved to be as easy breezy about this case as possible.

  Walking around the front of the building, I stepped inside the small veterinary surgery. The security camera was outside and I asked to speak to the manager. When he appeared, I explained who I was and asked if I could see his security tapes. Unfortunately, he was happy to reply that yes, the cameras did work before he went on to explain they were installed because of past issues with people who might have thought they stored drugs on the premises; and no, he wouldn't show them to me. When I argued my case with the most basic details, he appeared even more affronted.

  "I know Nancy," he said, "she brings an animal in occasionally."

  "Then you must want to help me find her," I said. "She could be in trouble."

  "If she's in trouble, bring the police and a warrant. She's a nice woman. I'm not helping you spy on her. You can show yourself out," he told me, pointing to the door with the kind of expression on his face that indicated he had nothing more to say.

  I didn't have much more luck with Pretty Paws. Joelle was there again, tending the front desk, but she didn't look pleased to see me. "Nancy didn't come back," she began, without preamble. "I tried calling her, but her phone is switched off. You must have scared her."

  Before Lily and I began our stakeout that morning, I already guessed Nancy wouldn't return. It was just too good to hope for, so Joelle's comments didn't surprise me. "Hard to scare someone before you've spoken to her," I pointed out, a little chagrined that the blame was being pinned on me. All I wanted was to speak to Nancy and find out what happened to her in the past few months, right before marking the case as solved.

  "You managed it," huffed Joelle.

  "Then help me make it right," I said, appealing to her soft side. "I noticed you have security cameras at the back of the building. I'd like to see your tapes."

  "No," said Joelle.

  I blinked. I didn't expect that. I thought she would be a bit more eager to help me find Nancy. "Is there any reason why not?" I asked, keeping my voice soft and not confrontational.

  "I don't like that you scared Nancy off and I think you should leave her alone. Plus, my customers are curious why a PI keeps coming here and that's bad for business."

  "I really need to see the tapes. They could help. Maybe Nancy was hurt and kidnapped," I said, hoping that might at least spur Joelle into action.

  A flash of confusion passed across her face before she sniffed. "Yeah, right. If you want to see those tapes, send a police officer with a warrant."

  "Okay," I said, wondering how many favors I would owe in return for a warrant, if I could even persuade one of my brothers to get one. As I left the parlor, I had to concede that was unlikely. MPD had no reason to request the tapes, and a judge had no reason to sign the warrant. Disheartened, I looked around for Lily, and saw her standing next to my VW with Jord. I waved and started to step off the sidewalk and cross the street when someone called my name.

  "I thought it was you," said a man, smiling as I turned around. Wearing jeans and a plain shirt, a newspaper tucked under his arm, he looked more than pleased to see me.

  "Leo? Hi."

  "Hi," Leo said, leaning in and kissing my cheek as I stood there awkwardly. I did not want to be rude and back away, but his friendly display was a bit much. When was the last time a client kissed me?

  "I was just taking a walk around town," he said, answering my unspoken question. "What brings you to wherever we are? Hot lead?"

  "Actually, yes," I said, deciding I might as well tell him the vaguest basics, while leaving out the more puzzling aspects I discovered. "I thought Nancy might have been caught on security cameras as she was sighted around here."

  "Really?" Leo beamed, showing a perfect set of white teeth. Little creases around his eyes added to his handsomeness. "That's great news. I'm really glad you caught a break in the case. Do you think you can find her from the tapes?"

  I shook my h
ead and felt my heart sinking as his smile dropped. "I can't access the tapes. The stores won't cooperate."

  "Can't you make them?"

  "Unfortunately, no. Being a PI has its limitations. If people won't comply, I can't force them."

  "I'm disappointed, but... It isn't your fault, okay? You've done a great job tracking her so far. I have the utmost faith in you, Lexi. Thanks for sticking with the case. It means a lot to me and I know it will to Nancy too." Leo reached out for my arm, cupping my elbow and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Will you call and let me know as soon as you find anything?"

  "Yes," I agreed. "I'm sorry I don't have more to tell you."

  "Speak soon," Leo said, tucking his paper further under his arm. He saluted me with his takeout coffee cup before stepping past and continuing on his way.

  I waited for a gap in the traffic before jogging across the street to my car.

  "Who's the cutie?" asked Lily.

  "My client," I told her.

  "Nice!"

  "What?" said Jord, flashing a dark look at her.

  "I'm married, honey, not blind. Lexi's client is cute, but you're cute for life." She reached up, landing a light kiss on his lips.

  "Plus, Lily has been in love with you for years," I chipped in, "so it's not like you have anything to worry about. It's not a secret, Lily!" I squeaked as I stepped back to avoid getting bashed by Lily's purse.

  "Any luck?" asked Lily, changing the subject from her lifelong crush on my brother.

  "None. The veterinary surgery wouldn't give up the security tapes and neither will the pet parlor. I think I pissed them off. These leads are dead unless I can get someone to issue a warrant for the tapes." I batted my eyelashes at Jord.

  "No can do," he said. "No reason to request them."

  "Missing woman. Potentially dead," I lied and batted my eyelashes some more.

  "Evidence?" asked Jord.

  "Damn it!"

  "So, what now?" asked Lily, as we waved goodbye to Jord and his partner. Both of them began munching their sandwiches as they walked. We buckled up and I pulled into the mid-morning traffic.

  "My leads here are dead, so it's back to the drawing board."

  "I don't think drawing pictures will help. Maybe these will?" Lily passed me a list of buses that serviced the streets in the vicinity of Nancy's apartment. "I read in the Gazette that they all have cameras now."

  "I'll get Lucas to check," I replied as we headed towards Lily's bar. "If Nancy got on a bus, we could follow her all the way to where she got off."

  "It's like a scavenger hunt, but with really crappy clues."

  "And a salary," I added, wondering what Solomon would say about my short-lived leads. At least, Lily had a good idea of tracking the bus cameras, assuming Lucas would hack the network for me. That was a lot easier than riding the buses. "Maybe I could..." I started, but halted as Lily screamed and waved her arms. "What? What?"

  "My bar! Pull over!"

  We sailed past the bar and I pulled sharply over to the curb. I came screeching to a halt close to a small crowd, an ambulance, and several police officers. Behind them, I could see the doors to Lily's bar standing wide open. "You can't park here," said one of the uniforms, approaching the car and leaning into the window.

  "That's my bar!" said Lily, pushing the door open and leaping out before disappearing into the crowd. "Kyle!" she yelled.

  "Oh, hey, Lexi," said the officer, grinning as he stooped to look through the window.

  "Hi, Uncle Dermot." I stepped out, leaning over the roof to talk to my uncle. "What happened?"

  "One of the employees was opening the bar for the day, or something like that, and he got assaulted. The night’s proceeds are gone."

  "Is the employee okay?" I asked.

  "Sure, just a few bruises. Kaufman's with him; and the EMTs are here because the guy hit his head on the sidewalk during the assault."

  "Sheesh! What about the money? How much?"

  At the other side of the crowd, Lily screeched, "How much? Ohmygawd!"

  "That much," said Uncle Dermot, grimacing.

  I thanked my uncle for filling me in on the events, and, after he assured me no one would tow my car for obstruction, I pushed my way through the crowd. Lily was talking to an officer I didn't recognize. A man was sitting on the floor, holding an ice pack to his head while an EMT knelt beside him.

  "The bar got robbed," said Lily, grabbing my arm before whispering how much was stolen.

  "Holy crap!" I paused. "Wait, I thought you banked the proceeds every night at the night deposit."

  "I know," hissed Lily furiously, "but I wasn't working last night, and dumbass here didn't take the money to the bank."

  "I said I was sorry," said the man, looking up and wincing. He dropped his head between his knees and groaned.

  "Bank the earnings every night, without fail, Kyle," Lily yelled. "I tell you that all the time! I tell everyone that. You all know that!"

  "I forgot, okay?" came his knee-muffled voice. "I was tired and it was late and my buddy picked me up and..."

  "And... and... and..." sighed Lily.

  "But you're insured," Kyle said, raising his head again and groaning.

  "You'll get the money back, right?" I asked.

  Lily shrugged. "Maybe. The insurers might not pay out if they discover the bartender was negligent."

  "I was mugged!" the guy moaned. "I hit my head!"

  "And the security camera is smashed," said Lily, pointing to the camera under the eaves. "It wasn't when I left yesterday. Plus, you flouted my instructions. If that money had been properly deposited, as it should have been, when you closed up, this wouldn't have happened!"

  "I'm really sorry." This time, when the man groaned, the EMT took his pulse and called to his colleague. Between them, they got Kyle onto his feet.

  "Where are you taking him?" I asked.

  "Montgomery General. We need to make sure he hasn't sustained a concussion."

  "Did he give a statement?"

  "Yeah, I got it," said the officer nearby. "I'll be in touch. Miss Shuler, can I talk to you?"

  "Mrs. Shuler-Graves," corrected Lily.

  The officer blinked. "You're a Graves?"

  "Yes, and my husband is a detective in burglary. Can you call him?" she asked as we watched Kyle being loaded into the ambulance. The doors banged shut behind him. As they departed, the crowd dispersed, leaving Lily and me, along with the few remaining police officers. "I'm going to have to fire him, you know," she said, softly to me. "I can't believe this happened."

  "Do you really have to fire him? He got mugged. That's not his fault."

  "Yeah, actually, I do." Lily sighed. "We had an officer by just last week warning us of thefts in the area. Did you know Monty's Pizza got robbed? And more bars and takeout joints. Each one of them was broken into right after all the staff left. That's why I insist on not keeping cash on the premises overnight. Usually, Jord comes by and we take the cash to the bank, or I have another escort, but Jord and I had a date night planned and I trusted Kyle to do it."

  "It could have been a crime of opportunity," I said. "It might not even be the same suspects."

  "We'll see. I need to speak to Kyle to find out exactly what happened. From what Officer Kaufman said, it sounds like he opened up and didn't relock the door when someone came in and grabbed the cash sack as he left to take it to the bank."

  "Do you think someone knew you didn't go to the bank the night before?"

  "Maybe. But if they broke in, they'd have known that anyway."

  "Or maybe someone knew you usually went to the bank at closing, and didn't think the bar was worth burglarizing..." I pondered that, although it didn't sit right in my head. It still seemed like a smash-and-grab opportunity. Someone saw Kyle opening up and getting the cash, and decided to go for it by knocking him down and stealing the money. Whoever they were, they were long gone.

  "I wonder when the security camera got broken," Lily wondered aloud as we both
turned to the camera.

  "If we check the tapes, we can see how it happened," I suggested. "At least, I'll get to look at one security tape today."

  "Could you please?" Lily turned her grateful eyes on me. "I can get it for you now."

  "Sure, and don't worry, okay? We'll get to the bottom of this. Whoever robbed your bar will have the entire MPD looking for them soon."

  "I'm so glad I married into your family. It's like having private security, but on government money."

  "And we invite you to barbecues," I added.

  "Don't get that from the government."

  "Unless you count the Fourth of July."

  "Does the president bring the meat?"

  "Nope."

  "Doesn't count." Lily stepped around the broken glass on the sidewalk, and I followed her through the open doors into the bar. We went into the private rooms at the back. She unlocked her office and switched on the monitors that covered every angle of the bar, including the camera outside. That corner of the monitor showed nothing but fizzling noise. At the wall cabinet, she unlocked another door and pressed a couple of buttons, handing me a disc. "That's the last twenty-four hours," she told me. "I'll make another copy for the police."

  "I'll let you know what I find. I'm just sorry it won't show the thief since this probably happened before the robbery."

  "I know, but thanks anyway." Lily dropped into her office chair and sighed.

  "I really don't want to leave you here alone."

  "She's not," said a voice behind me and we both looked up. Jord filled the doorway. "I'm here." He crossed the room in quick strides and wrapped his arms around Lily. I heard her sob.

  I took a discreet step backwards, turning on my heel and closing the door behind me. The bar was in good order, but without any staff on duty, I figured it was best to shut the doors before the alcohol went missing too. The broken glass posed a problem, however. I decided to ask the police officer stationed outside if I could sweep it up before I tried to find someone to replace the panes. It had to be done before Lily opened up.

  As I stepped into the sun, I didn’t see the police officer at first, but noticed the man talking to him. It was someone so familiar, I forgot to breathe. He saw me just at that moment and smiled broadly, stepping towards me with his arms open.